Sunday, October 2, 2011

Contentment....


Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. Hebrews 13:5

I hear so many people today say "I want this" or "I want that"..  I have been guilty of saying these things myself. Some people tend to say that younger people are not happy with what they have always wanting more but you know it didn't get like this over night. Young people had to learn discontentment some where.. We learn many things from the generations before us.
 I have learned many things from my parents and my grandparents.....Good and Bad...
When my mom was a kid they lived in a small house with 5 kids. My mom was the baby. My grandparents raised their meat and vegetables. They would put up  their food for the year not depending on the grocery store for much of anything besides staples flour, sugar and such.. They were very poor money wise.. Their house was a 2 bedroom with linoleum laid over dirt.. They had an outhouse.. Bath day was Saturday..
 They also had to haul water from town once a week.. They did have running water of sorts. The kids attended a one room school house.
When my mom was about 6th grade they made the decision to move to town.. Main reason... To live a better life.... They moved to a bigger house, My Mawmaw went to work also.. No longer a stay at home mom because since she didn't have enough to do at home with 5 kids sometimes 9 (when her sister who had major issues dropped her kids off for weeks on end) she needed to earn money too.. This was the "Thing" to do apparently..
 So were they given a better life?..  Well my mom who struggled in school anyway was kind of forgotten in the rush of things. She failed in school but was passed on because to the teacher felt sorry for her. She wasn't checked up on because her older brothers and sisters took up a lot of time being in High school and by the time it got to her well everyone was tired.. She was suppose to go to summer school to catch up but after the first boring day she instead spent the time riding around town on her bike from 9 am till 3 pm.. No one ever the wiser because school never called home and parents never checked they just assumed she had been at school.. Sneaky kid she was...
 They started depending on the grocery store for all their food. no more garden or not enough to feed them all. No more raising their meat... They ended up with one boy on drugs so bad that he had shock treatments trying to quit. Another doing whatever he wanted to do... By then my grandparents had moved 650 miles away hoping to get  a fresh start for the kids still at home. You didn't EVER talk about sex to your kids. One daughter was married to a man who would later prove to be Very abusive, another daughter married to a man who would also prove to be physically abusive to the point of threatening her life, another daughter  her boyfriend drove 650 miles to come get her and bring her "home" and she didn't know but was pregnant at the time. The boy on drugs found drugs in the new place, the other boy was doing whatever he pleased and they had a 4 year old boy by then bringing the total up to 6 kids 5 between the ages of 15-21. It was chaos.. Always working thinking they needed more money to make things better. They knew how to work too.
 Now my Mawmaw and Pawpaw were some of the nicest people you could ever meet. But they quit following God's leading when they moved to town. They attended church for a while but eventually quit completely till they moved. They had come to the end of the rope with the boy on drugs. They didn't know where to turn. He had been hospitalized but they couldn't do anything else for him. My Pawpaw then visited a local church with my uncle.. Asked the pastor to help him.. He did and he turned his life around drastically..
 In the mean time my mom who was almost 16 had come back home and was living with her boyfriend, My dad and his family(who was another mess altogether). She called my Mawmaw to let her know she was pregnant. My parents plans where to live together and not get married. My Mawmaw informed her that if I was born with her last name Her not my mom would be raising me!.. So my parents thought okay we will get married. Since they were both minors parents had to sign of course.. My parents have been the exception. They survived teenage pregnancy with their marriage intact and will be celebrating 37 years in February 2012.  They will both say it was not easy but they have stuck it out for better or for worse! They still love each other very much!
 There is so much more that happened in all of that after my Grandparents moved to town hoping for a better life for their kids. So much heartbreak, nervous break downs among other things happened. I just skimmed over the top of things really.
 So what is my point in all of this?... In searching for a better life that was promised by propaganda of the times they left behind contentment with what they had at the time. Not saying that you shouldn't make your life better or improve things but so many people are dissatisfied with what they have because of what they think they should have.  I always wonder what our family would be like today if they had stayed in the country living like they were. So many people are going back to what they view as the "the More Simple" life.
 My mawmaw passed away from colon cancer when I was 7 years old. My pawpaw passed away about 5 yrs ago. He got to see what we were doing with our life  and our family. He always was so happy to see our pictures and encouraged us in what we were doing. They are missed everyday. Despite things that happened they were cheerful always optimistic. They made their way back to God and lived and died in Him. They were never judgmental and always loved people. They touched many lives for the good despite the tough times. We all make decisions that not only affect our lives but those around us and generations to come...

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;

That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Titus 2:3-5

9 comments:

goatpod2 said...

Good post and verses!

Blessings,

Amy

goatmilker said...

Great post and so true! Thanks for sharing. Rebekah

Julia said...

Wow..what a powerful story, Tonia..I'm so glad that despite the struggles of raising their family (and your mother) your grandparents eventually returned to their faith in God. Many pass on without ever restoring their relationship with their Creator and Saviour...all in the name of seeking a "better life"...

Thank you for sharing what is the Heart of God..and reminding us of what is truly important in life..our relationship with God and contentment in what we have/and "where we are" in life.

Amanda said...

Tonia, tears in my eyes as I read this. Very very good. While I don't believe that women going to work is entirely the problem (after all, without women in the workforce during World War II there would be no America), I do believe at the very least that most people are much too busy to take time for their children as they need to be. So many people just "get by" and look at what's becoming. "Moving to town", both parent's working, etc. is not all bad, but with all of that comes compromise and in so many cases compromise comes at the expense of the next generation. This is why we have chosen for me to stay at home, despite the financial obstacles that may come before us and why we devote our lives to raising our children wholeheartedly...very very important to us.

Debbie said...

What a great post Tonia! If I had my way.. I would stay away from the city for the most part and stay in the country. My hubby always says I was born in the wrong time....

Take Care,
Debbie K

TJ said...

So true! I love being reminded of what is really important in life.

Ruth Trowbridge said...

Excellent writing here, beautifully written so heartfelt and hitting the mark spot on - thanks for sharing, peace

Amanda said...

I didn't mean to imply you said women shouldn't work outside, I didn't men to imply that I thought it either =). I just think someone being in the home for the children (even if both parents work and they are there after school or giving their time after work) is incredibly important =).

*~*~*~*~Tonia said...

Oh no Amanda I didnt think that! I just got to thinking about other readers that work outside of the home and I didnt want them to think that I looked down on them for their choices. Everyone makes decisions for their own life and have to live with them. I jus thope everyone makes the Best choice for their Family! ;)