Sunday, August 21, 2011

Strife, Talebearing...... and Peace?

Now I know some of you may skip over this and go on to other blogs. That is Okay! I understand. Its kind of rambling, ridiculous and well..I cant think of any other words for it right now.. BUT if you feel you may have something to add to it Please do..

We have had a little family drama once again on a certain side of the family. I will not ever be able to please them.. But I am not meant to please them.. Only my God, Then My husband... My girls are a Top priority. Our family is second to God only in my priorities.
 When we married almost 17yrs ago Our marriage become God's Will in our life. We became our own family and were no longer under the Rule of our parents.. Honor them yes but not ruled by them.. 17 yrs later things haven't changed much. There is a certain person not related by blood but been around the family for years that likes to stir the poo pot as a friend of mine says. If neither parties involved in the current situation are around her things are good. We are even friendly...

 Well the Poo pot stirrer has been around a lot lately. She has managed to pass her grudge against me off on the others and I get no say in the matter I have been tried and judged and sentence to hang with out anyone ONCE asking if what was supposedly said/done was true or meant a certain way.. It was taken completely wrong.. Poo pot stirrers(my name for them NOT the Bible name) are warned against in the Bible Over and Over..

Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins. Proverbs 10:12
An angry man stirreth up strife, and a furious man aboundeth in transgression. Proverbs 29:22

A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter. Proverbs 11:13

The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly. Proverbs 18:8
He that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets: therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips. Proverbs 20:19
Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth.
Proverbs 26:20

 This Poo Pot Stirrer is angry with alot of people for alot of things. Its Always the other person's fault. Its really sad to see someone live like this Year after Year.. To watch them get some one else caught up in their junk. I try not to provide any "wood" for this person but when family members insist on being associated no matter what I have no control over it. Let me tell you they scrape for sticks, twigs and leaves to start that "fire"!
Sometimes I get so tired of being the nice person. It gets to the point that I cant turn it off. But this time I am completely giving it to God. I am NOT going to stoop to their level and wallow in the muck.

 And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you;

That ye may walk honestly toward them that are without, and that ye may have lack of nothing.  1Thessalonians 4:11-12
I am trying my best to leave it in God's hands. Not take it back and try to fix it more on my own. Honestly it doesnt bother me when its ME they are hurting.. I can take it.. But when they turn their wrath and ridiculous ways on my Husband and Kids.. Well that gets the She-Bear in me riled up..  Them there's MY babies and My man!! Dont you hurt'em or look at'em crosseyed or I... will.. get.. ya!..
Sorry bout that, the hillbilly was comin out in me...
 So all this has been swirling around for the last few days. My girls are old enough to understand what the people involved are saying and doing. Its not like when they were little and didn't understand what was going on. Only that we weren't visiting certain people as much.  
 Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go:

Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul. Proverbs 22:24-25

So now for the Peace part... We go to church with some of the involved parties just not the Poo pot stirrer.. It was tough today. They are not speaking to us for the most part.. I get dirty looks and hateful attitudes. But...... Great peace have they that love thy law and NOTHING shall offend them. Psalm 119:165... Nothing??? Nothing at all??.... Not even when they come after your family in a sly and revengeful way?....
If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.

 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Romans 12:18-20
Here is another thing.. These people for the most part are not in the least bit interested in living for God. They say things that make others think they are or they show up at church and then go party and do other things of that nature. I don't want to see ONE soul lost but where do I draw the line when it starts affecting my family??? I don't invite it into my home. I stop it from affecting my children, my family and my home.
  I don't give place to the hate and pride they have.. I also wont give place to the "better than thou" feelings I can get. I am not a grudge holder by nature. Better to let it go and get over it than dwell on it and let it fester for years. That is what has happened in this situation.. It has been swept under the rug to long and we are now tripping over the giant Bump in the rug. However its in God's hands now.
 Lord Jesus I am humbling myself before you to work in this situation as YOU see fit not as I think it needs to go.. I know that YOU will work it out for good as you have done in the past. That  you will protect us and keep us. I Thank you for your peace, joy and mercy.. In your precious name, Jesus

 I am going to try and follow my scriptures I have posted. And continue to draw my strength and peace from God's Word and keep on going! Even though I may feel like a bug under a high power microscope. I am not going to let them see that it is bothering me. We have decided in this house to just be nice and not say anything at all about them. Unless something happens to hurt one of the girls we are talking no more than necessary about "the Situation".
 We covet your prayers in this situation.. I know I haven't really said what has happened and its really a silly little thing that blew up into a mess. Please pray for healing in our extended family and Peace in Him... God can fix it better than before..


WeldrBrat said...

Sometimes... God removes us from situations for protection. Usually - it's while He's working on others.

" I am not going to let them see it is bothering me. " - Whether they see or not makes no difference. You are bothered. God is aware. It's okay to let them see. This would be a situation where they need to face their consequences for their choice and action. It's not your job to face others' consequences.

Tonia, you are not put on this earth to face anything alone - not even pain and hurt - and especially when it has been bestowed upon you and unjustly.

To say you are not alone - the fact that you have your husband and children... not so in this situation. In fact - they become innocent bystanders dragged into the mess - as long as you continue to "hide the bother" you are feeling.

You write beautifully. Since they aren't mature enough to bring it to you - take the matter to them on behalf of yourself and your family - in a letter.

Works twice better with letters, anyway. They can't interrupt you with hour long arguments over petty issues and go way off topic rehashing other garbage. And nosy people can't resist reading communication. We're all nosy - if we get honest enough. LOL

OurCrazyFarm said...

Your honesty has allowed so many of us out here in blogland with similar struggles to have a voice, Tonia. The Scripture promises are perfect. Let God refine you through this; honor Him in this. In the end you answer to God, so continue to obey His Word. You will be in my prayers. Keep these family members in your prayers, as well. The Lord's patience leads to salvation (2 Peter 3:15). And, thanks for the conviction and the warning to not be scraping up leaves and sticks to keep any fires going as we are all tempted to do so often.

*~*~*~*~Tonia said...

Thank you so much Both of you for the encouragement. I have considered writing a letter to one of the parties involved to try and help resolve the struggles.I do have a hard time verbalizing my feelings but I can write them out well. Not saying I cant talk I can talk alot!lol But when it comes to my feelings about something its better for me to write it down and makes sure it reads right before.. When I am upset my thoughts jumble up and I cry more than anything. No tmuch gets explained.
I have felt God's hand and comfort even in the turmoil. I know he is working things the way he is for a reason. I am waiting on HIM right now....or maybe being chicken and havent taken the first step toward really resovling anything yet.. Thank you!

Brenda said...

My blogger is being slow to update posts ... you'rs just came up this evening ??? Anyway ... I agree with your decision to leave it in God's hands. Sometimes even words of explanation can be misunderstood and used as fuel for the fire. Keep praying for them and God will talk to their hearts. But, sometimes people choose not to listen to God and their choices are hurtful. Just gotta stay out of their way! I pray the Peace of the Lord to you and your household!