Friday, February 4, 2011

Unsettled......

*Warning totally rambling, probably more than you care to know kind of post.... 

 When we moved to here a year and a half ago I felt like God did move us here for a reason. I felt the pull to this place more than I ever felt it and while I absolutely love the house it did have its draw backs.. But God lined things up so well that there was no doubt. Even my kids felt it...
 So for the last 18+ months we have been through the ringer. My surgery, Kyle being laid off for 3 months and Kara and her thyroid issues. SO I felt like we were in a recovery time after the way things went on that farm we managed for a year that was a Trial in and of itself.
 No to what I am unsettled about.. The church we attend is 35 miles away and except for a few years when we lived here before and a few that I didn't go to church at all I have always been in that church. It has nothing to do with what they preach I agree with it 100%.. What it has to do is how far it is and how hard it is to participate in church activities when I have to plan for a 70 mile round trip for service and anytime its extra. Gas is not cheap.. That is one issue..
 Another is that I have people ask about which church I go to and all that.. So how can I ask some one to go to a church 35 miles One way? Simply you cant....
 Kyle as much as I love him and he is a good dad has not attended church on a regular basis with me and the girls for almost 2 years. So I am driving by myself with the girls most of the time. 11 miles is much preferable to 35..
 Now everyone may think its simple find a church close by... Well if Only it where that simple..
 There is a church about 11 miles from us.. We sat under this pastor when we had been married  about a year and having babies. We loved the church then some things happened. It was hurtful but not unforgivable. Pastors are Human too and make mistakes I am a firm believer in things happening for a reason. We moved back to my hometown shortly after the situation happened. It wasn't anything evil or bad. It was just a mistake in judgement. We learned a lot in the years between Then and Now. 
 Now I am not one to hold grudges. My husband can and did for a long time as far as I know about this situation. I have been looking for a church close by.The girls and I have talked about it.. I kept feeling God push me in this direction But I was scared to bring it up to Kyle I finally gave into God's Prompting one night and brought it up to him.. He was open to it. He told me to talk to our current pastor and see what he says. This right here was a miracle...
 I have sought council with elders as we are told to in the Bible.. Talked it over with my husband.  My mom has been praying about it with me. My aunt, one I have always taken most major life issues has weighed in with her opinion.. We would no longer be attending the same church as her and my dad along with my brother and his family and various other family members. It will be tough to not be able to worship in service with them. But its not like we cant visit from time to time.. We will have family at this church too..
 So all that is left is talking to our Pastor now. And with the snow I haven't been able to make it to town a half mile away let alone 35 miles away. So I am working on an email.. Gotta love Technology!  Iwoudl really rather talk in person but I feel like this may have to be the way of it..
 Edited to say Our pastor now and his wife are some of the best people I know. They are very dear to us. I grew up around them and they arent much older than Kyle and I. The email will better explain what I am thinking better than over the phone. Our pastor is the First to say if we arent comfortable in our church he encourages us to find some where we can worship and live for God the way we are called too. If he feels that we shouldnt make the move at this time we won't.  But he will give us an Unbiased word to go on.
 Feel free to give your opinion.. Despite how it sounds we havent decided yet really. This was a way of me dealing with all the issues swirling around in my head so you can ignore it if you want.....

13 comments:

Amy McPherson Sirk said...

It sounds like you've given this the careful consideration it deserves. I'm not very comfortable in our local Church so I must admit I don't attend as often as I would like. Switching congregations is a difficult thing to do and I've been putting it off for too long. We'll add this decision of yours to our prayer list. You are the only one who can say what is right for you and your family. Thanks for sharing it with us.

Ryan said...

You might just want to call on the phone and hurt less feelings.

matty said...

It is hard to find a church where one feels at home. I have visited a few here and have found one I enjoy hearing the pastor. However, I don't tell people my whole name or where I am from. I don't want to be "visited." It is awkward for me. I am Quaker; the Mister is Presbyterian. We have never attended church together and there are no Quaker meetings here. So, I go when I can to one of two churches -- the one over the ridge that I like the pastor and the one 25 miles away where the pastor and his family are dear friends. I say, go where you feel you are being moved. God will take care of the details!

How are you and all the goaties doing in this terrible snow storm?? I am sending you hopes for sunshine tomorrow!

Mrs. Bee said...

My heart goes out to you.
We have just left the church that we have attended for the past 25 years. My husband was saved there, we were (at one time) very close to the Pastor and his family, we served sometimes at the cost of our own family. We stayed after a church split...we were in the middle and folks on both sides told us we had to choose. We didn't but stayed...that was the beginning of the end...and that happened 8 years ago. After BigD's accident, well, we were hurt that our church family didn't care enough to even call. These folk had taught him Sunday School, watched him grow (and all of our kids grow) into adults...we had to make a decision and we left. We weren't growing, serving (weren't allowed to..only called if someone needed welding or critter control!). It wasn't far away like your church but it was hard to leave...we were hardly even attending by the time we left.
I cannot tell you how much we enjoy our new church! We are fed the Word, we rejoice in singing, we have been going to each service and are eager to serve wherever the Lord wants us too. We met the Pastor (I knew him when I was younger...my mom went there after she left the Catholic church)...if you knew how hard it was for Trapper to talk with him...but God has had His hand in it all. While things may look hard and bleak at times...let God do the leading and He will never fail to see to your best.
I would have never thought from BigD's accident that so much good could come from it...our kids are even glad we have moved on (they haven't been to church willingly in a long time)so they have talked of joining us there...Never fear, God is in control :)
I'm praying for you.

Brenda said...

Sometimes where the Lord leads us feels uncomfortable or unsettled. Just keep listening to and following Him. You'll end up in the right place.

OurCrazyFarm said...

You'll be in my prayers Tonia:))

goatpod2 said...

We've been here for 12 years where we live now which we love it actually. We're not going to church right now since my Mom's retirement almost a month ago but our little country church was 9-10 miles away though so not bad distance, we switched post offices since ours is now 3 miles down the road and our other one was where our church that we used to attend is and it was hard for us to go into town to get our mail especially in weather conditions since we live in a dangerous intersection.

We haven't found the right church right now so my parent's and I have been doing our own Bible studies and we'll be inviting a couple people over for a little Bible study as well.

Blessings,

Amy

Faye Henry said...

Hi Tonia.. You and I are in similar circumstances, I see.
We live a 60 mile round trip from church. We are retired and seldom miss the two services on Sunday but we do miss a lot of midweek especially in our Canadian winters.
When our three children were home my husband did not attend for many years and I took them alone. They did not miss many youth or special services. We were blessed because Terry wanted his kids to be saved.. Thank the Lord.. And gas was not a problem ...
So, if they were home NOW and NOT
getting to church enough and money was tight for gas I am almost sure that with prayer for wisdom and guidance that I would be led to go to the one closer so they could get there..
The last days are upon us and the Bible says to gather ourselves together even more when we see that day approaching,..
Time is so short and we NEED to hear the preaching of the Word..
Just my opinion dear as a another mother who wants her children ready..
May God bless you with His wisdom...

Nancy said...

Tonia -- is this an all or nothing decision? Can you try the alternative for a period and if you are not comfortable with the results... maybe by that time another option might become available?

Making big changes is never easy. I wish you strength in this. :)

Gail said...

I think God is everywhere. I also think he is an understanding God.

Maybe the hardship the trip has become is a message to changes churches.

Cheryl @ The Farmer's Daughter said...

Hi Tonia, I know this is a hard decision to make. It's good to talk to your pastor, but I really feel that it shouldn't be his decision whether you stay or not. That decision should be based on what is best for you and your family and what the Lord is leading you to do, and only you can know that. I pray that your heart will know the right move to make. Blessings.

Sandy@American Way Farm said...

I've been in similar circumstances and have had to remind myself that I don't go to church for the pastor or other people. I go to worship and serve God. One of the pastors I thought was the worst came to the hospital when my daughter was very ill. He stayed all night to wipe her face with a cool cloth and hold her throw up tray. I looked at him and thought "this is what Jesus would do if He were here". My point is that we've all got good and bad parts of us. That was a lesson to me that I needed to focus more on the good so I didn't see that parts I didn't like. That pastor and I are now very good friends and I'm so glad I overlooked his humanness and saw him through God's eyes. Don't know why I just told you that story. Hope it helps.

TJ said...

Amen, Sandy! We're all carrying burdens, but sometimes we can't see past our own to someone elses.

Tonia, God will let you and your family know where you belong. Sometimes it is hard to listen to what He says and we try to work it our ourselves.